I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
