There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
