I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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