ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize