I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
