Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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