Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
