video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
