The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
