I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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