i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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