You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
