just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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