Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
