My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
