I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
We are two peas in an std pod
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
