that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
