Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
she peed on how many people?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
