I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
