I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
