Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
they call him Oral-B. enough said
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Randomize
