Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
