I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
