seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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