FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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