I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
