do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
