I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
