I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
