The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
