I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
