HIV tests are more positive than that guy
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
