He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
