There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
