I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
