i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
