How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
