Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i wish my penis had a tongue
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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