don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
