Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I would ride that face into the sunset
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
