No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
