eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
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