dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
