You made me cry and you don't even care
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
