she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
