Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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