There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
