she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
