So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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