Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
